


In the Small Hours

by AurigaCapella



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 22:04:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12662334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AurigaCapella/pseuds/AurigaCapella
Summary: A brief glimpse into Pearl's thoughts as she watches Steven sleep over the years.





	In the Small Hours

When Steven first came to live with the Gems Pearl had watched him sleep out of fear. There was a human, living in their space. It seemed so strange they had to lose consciousness so frequently, especially this quarter-sized model, who grew tired sometimes even in the middle of the day.

But in the late evening, when it was just Pearl and Steven in his lofted bed, lit by only the faintest moonlight, she began to see the charm. He looked serene, all curled up under the duvet quietly breathing. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, traced the curve of his ears and the contours of his chin with her eyes.

Soon it became a routine. She would creep up to his room in the small hours and marvel at him. Rosy cheeks, delicate eyelashes, a minute smile even when at rest. Strong echoes of her Rose. There were bits of Greg too, the eyebrows and the calluses on his tiny hands from playing guitar. At first she had shuddered at these reminders.

As he had grown that had changed. She marveled as he learned to express himself, hesitating at first then suddenly with tremendous confidence. She delighted in his unsteady tottering giving way to self-assured steps and then again to joyous dancing. Even the parts that recalled Greg were still remixed and born again new in this complicated, unique being.

She wondered if perhaps this was the last duty Rose had given her, this privilege to tend to Steven. Often now she felt gratitude at the edges of her grief.

Then he gave himself up to answer for the crimes of his mother. Things he knew nothing about. He had no context and no knowledge of where the actual blame should lie.

And she’d kept him in the dark.

And maybe she’d made him feel guilt that wasn’t his, perhaps wasn’t even Rose’s.

And she probably didn’t deserve to have him in her life.

And if this is what being a parent was truly about, no wonder Gems did not do it. It _hurt_.

Amid all her frantic searching he’d come home nearly by accident, through no action on her part, and the ache deepened. It was colored with her own guilt for withholding information from him and peppered with anger at him for thinking his life so worthless. But mostly it burned with resolve to never let him out of her sight again.

So that morning, as the sun broke the horizon and he finally drifted off to sleep, Pearl sat again at the edge of Steven’s bed. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, traced the curve of his scrapes and the contours of his bruises with her eyes.

As always she watched him sleep out of love, but once again it was tinged with fear.


End file.
